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i am grateful for LOVE: part deux 11.12.13



yesterday, i posted this status on facebook:

"i love my single life and i am grateful to have peace in abundance. our relationship status does not define who we are. my worth is not measured by external conditions, terms or symbols. i am the i am of myself. i alone am enough."
and oh, how was i surprised by the likes and responses. and then it dawned on me---- maybe, just maybe there are more single people who are content with being single than i realize. i believe this resonated with people because they too have found some kind of solace in being single.

now by nature, i love solitude. nothing moves me more than being alone, except maybe jazz or a beautiful arrangement of white hydrangas or dinner at my favorite local restaurant, The Parlor Market. my creativity flourishes when i can have that. however, i also love people. i'm interested in them and their experiences because i realize that we all can be teachers for one another. 

 so i wanted to delve further into what the truth of that status represented. although i consider myself open and authenticity is a guiding principle in my life, i don't always discuss my love life-- the hurts, the lessons, the disappointments, the could've's, should've's, and wtf's. 

 at one point, i became completely depressed because of the state of my love life. i interrogated and asked myself, why is it that here at 25 i have never been in a relationship. yes, this guy was nice over here, this one a promising politician and/or future business maverick, so on and so forth. but i couldn't get the commitment. i just knew something was wrong. with. me. 

 i knew it wasn't the looks. i knew it wasn't the intellect. i knew it wasn't the humor. i say that as honestly and  humbly as i know how, but i do know my worth and my selling points. 

one night, while in prayer, i simply got the answer to my conundrum... 

 "You are single because it will take a special person to love you." 
From that moment on, i surrendered. i knew then that i needed to focus on my Job, with a capital j (that's what i like to call purpose). i knew i needed to continue to live a full life. i knew that essentially nothing is wrong with me and that i don't have to live in fear of being alone forever. when the time comes, he will come. but for right now, i am surrounded by so much love that some days i just can't take it. i have the most wonderful family and friends whom i adore. i have my work, spiritual anthropology. i have a new job at a little fine dining restaurant here in Fondren. 

my life is good. i am blessed. my cup runneth over. 

right now, Tony Bennett and Bill Evans' Young and Foolish is playing (one of my favorite records ever). it's early morning and i'm about to meditate with Oprah and Deepak (if you haven't signed up, please do so by visiting Chopra Center Meditation) 

i am grateful for all the love in my life and for being single and for knowing that i still matter. hear me when i say this, you alone are enough. you being single is not a curse, it's a blessing. use this time to better yourself. work out, learn some french, go out on dates, and learn what makes you feel sexy and do it. do it for yourself. 

love yourself with abandon. 
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