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forgiveness v. the pain




WE have all been hurt by someone we love or someone who said they wouldn't do the very thing they would go on to do. The pain that followed ensured us that we could not afford to put our trust or give our heart fully to anyone. We wrestle with moving forward because the pain has left us in chains. 

And there is nothing that can break the chains except for forgiveness. My favorite definition of forgiveness is "giving up the hope that the past could have been any different." I don't know who originally said that, but I'll attribute it to Ms. Winfrey, since she is the one I first heard it from. Although forgiveness is a process, it is one that must be completed in order to live freely. 

I'm reminded of a childhood experience of physical abuse that I encountered when I was almost 2. It occurred by the hands of my mother's husband. I still remember that dreadful morning and still bear the furnace scars to show for it. I knew then that although i had been severely wronged and abused, the abuse was not about me. I had to forgive. I could not let the pain ruin me. 

Forgiveness is the permission you give yourself to live fully regardless of what has happened to you. As long as you are playing the role of the victim, you cannot see the beauty of your life. The lack of vision thereof inspires complaining instead of gratitude and you get more of whatever you give your attention to. Focus on the pain and you'll attract more painful experiences to your life. 

 Philippians 4:8 encourages us to meditate on  "...whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report..." (NKJV). Forgiveness allows you to do just that. 

The truth is that we cannot change the hurt or the ones who have hurt us. Our only responsibility is to make peace with what has happened, even when we can't make sense of it. Forgiveness puts you on the path to healing and restoring yourself to a whole human being. It's worth that alone. 
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  1. AnonymousMay 14, 2013 at 10:45 PM

    Forgiveness v. the pain ! This must be shared to everyone. I think everyone has struggled with this at one point in their life. Forgiveness is the obvious answer if you seek happiness or if you seek any type of progression.

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