on being a hopeful romantic...

the love of love

as a single individual, i understand the hype and organic beauty of relationships. one of the great truths of life is everybody wants to be loved, valued, appreciated, and held by their beloved. relationships offer a chance to get to know someone, and at the same time, an opportunity to build something meaningful together. this is the ideal.

however, i don't want to talk about romantic love perse. i want to discuss the foundation upon which that love is built-- the love of self. what does it mean to love yourself? does that love come naturally or is it cultivated? if you were to ask someone if they love themselves, the obvious answer would be "yes, of couse." but is that the truth?

in my solitude, i have learned how to fully embrace myself lovingly and without critique. this is difficult and it is definitly a work in progress, but worth every effort. all sustainable love is like that. it must be cared for and attended to. our first love should be our love for ourselves.

the greatest lesson i have learned though, is that my being alone doesn't mean that i am not worthy of love. it doesn't mean that others cannot see how beautiful i am on the inside. what it simply means is that i must continue to practice love and not worry about when my relationship status will change. the love you receive is in direct proportion to the love you give yourself.

i haven't found love, not because i don't love myself, but because i won't cheat on myself by giving my love to someone who isn't worthy of it. love is reciprocal and if you are unequally yoked (a biblical concept meaning two people who are not on the same level) you will not blossom. love is the meeting of souls for the express purpose of helping each other grow. it is the essence of partnership.

a successful relationship is built upon the self love that two individuals bring into that union. they must believe in each other's possibilities and be willing to "sacrifice" their egos. dealing with your ego is also a part of the loving yourself. (you don't want to fall in love from your ego-- which is your false concept of yourself.)

the love of love is the practice of building yourself up spiritually, financially, mentally, and physically. it is about doing what feels right for you and taking care of your temple, internally and externally. this love is beyond vanity and narcissism. it must be felt deep in your core.

you deserve to get to know yourself enough to love yourself completely.

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